Self_esteem: What to do if your teen is somewhat overly preoccupied with her appearance.
I know it has been many years since I was a teenage girl, but I do not remember spending so much time in front of my mirror. My daughter Fadiera seems to spend hours in her room getting ready every day. When she emerges, there appears to be not a hair out of place on her head. She has also been watching videos about makeup and fashion for hours at a time. At first, I thought maybe this was something she was just interested in, like a hobby. Recently though, I have been starting to worry that there is something deeper going on.
I have tried to speak to her about my concerns. These attempts are often met with an eye roll and a “mom, I am fine.” Despite her insisting that everything is fine, I am still a little concerned that she is somewhat overly preoccupied with her appearance. It seems to take up so much of her time.
Given my concern, I have been implementing different ways to help her develop a healthy body image.
I have started to try to praise her for more than her physical qualities. I compliment her intelligence, work ethic, kindness, and her athletic abilities. I have also talked to my husband about making an effort to compliment these things. I am hoping that these compliments help her to realize that there is more to her than looks.
I also have had to be more conscientious of how I talk about my own body and the amount of time I spend getting ready. I have even started going without makeup on weekends and have made it a point to start complimenting myself and my body out loud.
Lastly, I had a talk with Fadiera about her interest in makeup and fashion. I have offered to help her find activities related to these areas if she is interested in them. She seemed receptive to this, and we have found a local class about fashion.
I hope that the changes I have made help my daughter create a healthy body image, and I will keep a closer eye on her to make sure there is not something wrong.
I know that if she starts spending more time getting ready, seems to be making negative statements about her body, or is avoiding activities because she is not happy with how she looks, we will have to consider that this is a problem. Until then, I will continue to help her focus on her positive qualities and nurture her love for fashion and beauty. Who knows, maybe she will decide that she would like to pursue a career in these areas.