Self-esteem a difficult issue for our teens
Sometimes it surprises me to see how quickly my teen can go from being so confident in themselves to feel that they cannot do anything right. The smallest disagreement or misstep has led to statements like “I can’t do anything right.” Often these small mistakes seem to feel like the end of the world for them. We are not always able to solve these problems for our teens, but I have discovered that there are ways you can help them boost their self-confidence along the way.
One way is to remind them why they are unique or special. I know as parents we feel that our children are the most extraordinary thing we have seen. Find times to remind them of this. Tell them that they are the best friend that someone could ask for. Remind them of how kind they are or how smart they are. Help them see that they are an excellent fantastic person.
Give them the power to make choices for themselves. Let them choose where you are going to dinner. Let them decide which sport to join or which activity to participate in. Giving them the power to make their age-appropriate choices will help them make more essential choices down the road. This will teach them that they can decide for themselves and help them grow into the person they want to be. It will help them develop a strong sense of self.
Give them chores. I know that this may not seem like it is related to self-esteem, but it is. Teaching your child to complete everyday tasks will help them develop a sense of pride and responsibility. It will teach them valuable skills that they will need as they move closer to becoming adults.
Learning to navigate disappointment is also crucial in developing self-esteem. Help them see that they do not have to win at everything, or be the best in everything is important. As they grow up and become adults, they are bound to experience feelings of disappointment at themselves and towards others. You must help them by validating their feelings, letting them know that everyone goes through these times, and helping them move forward. Sometimes moving forward is as simple as having them try again or pointing out their success in other areas.
Asking your teen for their opinion is also a great way to boost self-esteem. I often ask my teen for their dinner view, movies to watch, or household items to buy. I have also observed my husband doing this. He will often ask my teen which tie looks better or which shit makes him look like less of a dad. My son appears to like sharing his opinion and seems to be flattered when asked.
Lastly, one of the most important things I have found in helping my teen develop confidence is actively listening to what he says. When you show your teen that they are worth listening to, they feel valued. You can accomplish active listening by stopping what you are doing, making eye contact, offering head nods, and making statements like I understand when speaking.